Death Note - Light, L - Every time, any time, ALL THE TIME

[killing_kurare]

Title: Every time, any time, ALL THE TIME
Fandom: Death Note
Pairing: Light, L
Wordcount: 590
Rating: PG-13
Warning: graphic violence (a little, but just to be sure), paranoia, angst
Challenge: Morbid and Spooky ficathon - "I need to kill you; That's the only way to get you out of my head"
Challenge: daswaisenhaus - [#_0977] Suddenly the beast takes notice, unexpectedly we've earned his focus. / We've got here by naive assumption, our confidence was a false presumption!



He feels the detective’s eyes in the back of his head, always watching, watching, thinking, analyzing, plotting, judging …
He can literally hear L’s thoughts, they are lurking, waiting, always watching, every little thing he does a scheme to bring Light down, so he has to think faster, behave more naturally than the day before, has to be carefree, considerate, alert ...
Light doesn’t know when he last slept peacefully (because there are still cameras in his room, everywhere, and Ryuk is so stupid, he surely missed some, surely, and there are also microphones, so what if he says something while he’s asleep, does something to give him away), and he always has to be a step ahead of the detective, has to think, watch, consider, weigh up …
And the pressure grows with each passing second, but he can’t stop now, he’s come so far, he CAN’T STOP NOW he’s so close to finally create a perfect world, to become what he was meant to be, A GOD FINALLY, but how can he be God when L is always there, watching, waiting, judging, and no matter what Light does, no matter how careful he is, how good he thought he played his part, L is always there, his black lifeless eyes watching, never sleeping, his hot breath always in the back of Light’s neck, breathing, breathing, looking directly into his soul, haunting, SEEING, KNOWING, and sometimes Light just wants to take L’s head between his hands and crush this skull against a wall, harder and harder AND HARDER until HE can finally see, SEE how the detective’s mind works, SEE what gave Light away, how L seems to know, and probe the brain that causes him all this anxiety, bury his fingers in it until he’s finally reached the core of all his distress, and crush it under his shoes once he’s done examining, smash it, DESTROY IT until there’s nothing left so L will finally stop.

Stop.

Stop.

But then Light returns to reality, hopes that his face didn’t change while imagining, while dreaming, hopes that L didn’t SEE anything, didn’t NOTICE anything, and when he turns around and looks back over his shoulder, he sees these black eyes observing him, every time, any time, ALL THE TIME, and Light just wants to take his head between his hands and push his thumbs into these black orbs until there is no black left, until all he can see is red, RED ON WHITE SKIN, so there is no black left to watch him, to doom him, to make him fall …

“Is Light-kun alright?”
Light blinks and realizes that he’s been staring into the black, got lost in the black, and DAMN IT, this wasn’t suppossed to happen …
“Y-Yes, of course. I guess I’m just a little tired.”
“Sure. Why don’t you go and rest?”
“No, it’s okay. I’ll finish this first.” Yes, I’ll finish first, I will be able to rest, L, you’ll see, once you’re down, once you’re done, once I’M done WITH YOU, once I killed you … then I will rest.
And Light knows that it has to happen soon before his precious mind is completely lost; not yet, not yet, he still knows what he’s doing, what he has to do, just a little more, and then he can go to sleep and finally sleep, and the world will be better, and HE will be better, for a GOD is always better

“... and I am God ...”

…

…

…

“Did you say something?”